Analyze This: Hiei
by chibi-zayla
Summary: NOT yaoi. Hiei falls off a tree, Yusuke finds him. Kurama comes in and helps. It's just a look at Hiei's relationship to the Rekai Tantei.Humor is invloved...crappy summary..


Yay, another new fic! *beams* I hope people like this one. I'm not much of a serious writer. I like humour a lot more just cause I like laughing. Yup, but now that I think about it, it would be good to write a serious story, so I made this one. I'm thinking not many will want to read this on account of the serious factor..now that I think about it, this story isn't really serious...well, for the most part...*pout*

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho and am not making any money off of this. So what? I can make money in other ways. *thinks, then leaves. Comes back bringing a tied up Yusuke* The bidding starts at...eh, 50 bucks. Oh wait, I might get sued for kidnapping Yusuke...you guys better hurry and bid then! 

Yusuke: I am so gonna toast you when I break free of these chains...

There was a gentle breeze about. It amused itself with the trees, rustling their leaves in a playful manner. A figure laid among one of these trees. He rested his body on the highest tree branch, not the least bit afraid of falling. His hands were behind his head and he could feel the rough textures of the tree trunk against his knuckles. The boy sighed. It was a pleasant night. The summer heat had ceased for tonight, leaving in its stead a soft wind that lingered about. It was quiet tonight, adding more to the calmness and serenity of the night. Hiei closed his eyes. The forest was always better than any home or apartment. He was use to the wilderness; it was the closest thing to a home that he had. Whispering could be heard about. It was the wind. Hiei heard it, could feel it wrapping gently around his body, soothing his every muscle and joint. A sigh escaped him, a content sigh. What was this feeling? It was such a gentle, carefree emotion. The crickets continued their singing. The young boy could feel all consciousness leaving his mind. Closer and closer the darkness came until it swallowed him whole. His breathing grew longer, quieter. And he dreamt.

He was on an island. A mass of people were forming. A woman stood among them. She was being held back by two others who were trying their best not to let go of her. Another woman stood before the edge of the floating island. In her arms she held a bundle of what appeared to be wraps. She hesitated momentarily before giving the bundle a small white gem. It had been made into a necklace. A small hand reached out and grabbed it, its fingers reaching and pulling it back close. An eye appeared from the bundle, a horizontal oval with a giant crimson eye. It stared at the gem, its piercing gaze never loosing sight of it. The woman cradled the boy, held him tight against her bossom, then extended her arms out and let the baby fall from her grasp. It descended down, lower and lower until he was out of sight. The woman being held back let out a scream. It echoed about, piercing the cold night air. 

Hiei could feel himself falling, lower and lower. Smack! He laid on the ground, with his back on the cold dirt. He stared at the tree that loomed over him, at the branch he had been sleeping on. The moon rested high overhead. He blinked for the light that it cast was too bright for the koorime. It was then he realized of the pain in his lower back. Hiei winced. The spasm was a bit much for him to handle. He waited on the ground for it to pass. 

Meanwhile, a young teenager walked down the dark streets of his hometown. His hands were placed in the pockets of his jean jacket. The soft breeze had been blowing through his slicked back hair, only able to rustle the bangs on his forehead. It was then that he heard the thump. Yusuke turned his head to the left. He paused his trot and walked over to the source of the noise. The trees of the park had grown quite a bit since his last visit. He looked around. There, right in front of him, lay Hiei. He laid on his back, gazing up at the sky. Yusuke stared at him. He quirked an eyebrow. 

"Hey, Hiei. What the hell are you doing?" he asked in a calm tone. Hiei kept gazing at the sky. He said nothing and neither did Yusuke. After a moment of silence Hiei's low voice spoke.

"What do you want, detective?" he asked in a rather harsh tone. Yusuke took this without offense and replied to Hiei's rudeness. 

"Well, I wanna know why you're lying on the floor like that. Did you fall out of the tree again?" Hiei hmphed. 

"I did not, nor did I ever, fall off the tree. If you must know, I prefer the ground than the tree." Yusuke grinned.

"Oh, right right. You prefer the cold, dirty, ant infested ground than that nice and hard tree branch, huh?" Yusuke laughed. Hiei hmphed yet again. He kept his gaze on the sky and his body on the ground. The pain had yet to leave his back. "O-okay, Hiei," he let a few chuckles out before continuing, "Ah, but hey, weren't you suppose to stay with Kurama? Isn't that what Koenma said? It was either me, Kurama or Kuwabara...heh, did you and Kurama have a fight or something?" He made little kissy noises right in front of the koorime's face.(Oh wow, where on earth did the seriousness go?) Hiei reached out to punch him. It seemed his pain didn't reach his hands, or if it did it was long gone by now. Yusuke pulled back and managed to barely dodge. He smiled, though it was less of a grin than before. 

"Leave now Yusuke, before I unsheathe my katana." 

"Hey, you can't just sleep on the ground like that." 

"And why not?" he raised himself a bit off the dirt floor. The pain was still there, but it has subsided partilly. It was hard not to show his pain; his back was killing him. 

"Cause, Hiei! You can't just sleep on the floor! And I ain't letting you," he slurred out and grabbed one of Hiei's arms. The koorime winced at the pain which grew a considerable amount with Yusuke's movements. The taller boy then placed his friend's hand over his shoulder and placed his own hand around Hiei's waist. It was a great plan, taking Hiei home like that, except for one thing: Yusuke was way too tall. Hiei's hand couldn't reach so far _and_ keep his feet on the ground. 

"Put me down, Yusuke. Put me down now or else face my katana." He was embarrassed about falling off the tree but what made it worse was Yusuke seeing him and now wanting to help take him Kami knows where. Yusuke grinned. Oh Hiei hated when he did that, especially to him. He lifted the demon off the ground and began walking off. Hiei, angrier than ever, kept kicking his feet this way and that, most times right at Yusuke's legs. Yusuke only smiled a very impatient smile. He was growing tired of Hiei's constant kicking and nagging not to mention his legs were hurting with bruises. With one final kick Hiei felt himself being flipped over. He landed on Yusuke's back, who proceded to take him piggy-back style. Hiei cringed. 

"What in all three realms are you doing to me!?" he hollered, causing the birds to fly out of their nests.

"Nothin', just taking you home." Yusuke continued his silent walk. Hiei's eyes bulged. 

"Let me down NOW!" he screamed right into his ride's ear. Yusuke staggered. His ears rang with throbbing pain. His pace slowed to a stop, his ears still ringing. 

"Gah!! Hiei, wouldya mind NOT DOING THAT ANYMORE?!?!" 

"Put me down this minute or else face my Jagan!!!" His ams waved frantically at his sides. His animated movements were so unlike him. He was acting like a frantic two year old. In his feverish attempt to rupture Yusuke's ears Hiei failed to notice his friend's home. 

"Guess what Hiei? Where home," called out a very agitated Yusuke. He reached into his coat pocket, retrieved his keys and opened the door. Hiei meanwhile tried forming a plan in his mind. He did not intend to stay at Yusuke's house for long. "Oh, and Hiei," began Yusuke as he marched up the stairs, the small koorime still on his back, "if you try to leave in the middle of the night or something I swear I'll get Kurama and Kuwabara to help me find you. And you know Kurama, he's great at search parties." Hiei gaped at him. Why was he trying so hard to keep him here? What were his motives? More importantly, DID HE JUST THREATEN HIM? The short fire demon (Hiei note: Call me short again and I will kill you.*chibi Zayla is scared*) snorted.

"You expect me to obey like a good little dog? I am not your slave, Yusuke, and I will not bow down to you. Least of all, I WILL NOT STAY HERE!" The door to his apartment opened. Yusuke pulled out the key from its..keyhole. As he entered, the silence greeted him inside. His dark brown eyes scanned the area left and right. There was no sign of life. Perfect. He walked over to the couch and sat Hiei down. Hiei only growled. It was then that he noticed the yellow paper lying on the coffee table. His curiosity was aroused. And he reached for it. 

"Yusuke, I'm going on a little errand, look after the house for me while I'm gone. Love and kisses, Atsuko? Wha the hell is this, Yusuke? Is there a new "love" in your life?" Hie asked, finishing the letter. Yusuke laughed.

"No, you three eyes. That was my mom. She went off on another one of her 'exporting missions'. She goes out once in a while and comes back with a whole trunk full of goods. That's ma for ya." He spoke to Hiei while dialing a number on his cord phone. Hiei noticed immediately.

"What are you doing?" His suspicion arose, washing over his curiosity. He had a hunch, a big hunch as to who the teenager was calling. 

"I'm dialing a number, what's it look like?"

"No, idiot, whose number are you dialing?" 

"...Why do you wanna know?" 

"Whose number are you dialing?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Dammit Yusuke, whose number are you dialing??"

"...Why do you want to know?"

"WHOSE NUMBER IS IT?"

"Someone's..."

"AHH!" He proceeded to lung his body, as small as it was, onto Yusuke. The surprised boy only gasped. The battle had begun. Hiei tried with all his remaining strength to steal the phone from Yusuke's hands. Yusuke on the other hand tried hard not to let Hiei have his way. It went on for five minutes and stopped only when the phone fell off the wall, taking the holder and everything with it. 

"HIEI! NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!" hollered the now furious Yusuke. Hiei only humped. 

"And you're blaming _me_ for this. Baka, it wasn't my fault." He turned his face away in a very arrogant manner. 

"Oh that's it!" Echoed Yusuke's scream. He ran out the room. There was the sound of a door opening then a hard knock. Voices were heard. Minutes later Yusuke came back, a triumphant smile adjoining the evil glint in his eyes.

"What did you do?" The quietness of his voice was priceless. It wasn't his usual monotonous voice. No, this was more of a cowering voice tainted with transparent fearlessness. And in return, Hiei received only a grin. A grin. Oh the horror. What could Yusuke have done?

"W~e~ll, since you are just so energetic today, I decided to call Kurama. Maybe he can help fix you a remedy for that." At the sound of Kurama and remedy Hiei's body shivered. 

"You wouldn't dare." he whispered. Yusuke grinned even broader than before.

"Oh yes I did. He's on his way right now. Get comfortable, Hiei cause there's gonna be a long night ahead of you." His chuckling brought a mixture of fear and anger in the little koorime. It had been a while back, but he could still remember. Kurama had tried to help Hiei's wounds heal quicker so he gave him one of his 'home remedies'. He was still trying to learn the botany of the human world. Working with plants from the Makai was very different than working with Ningenkai plants. And what was the result of Kurama's over kindness? Hiei cringed at the outcome. 

"You cannot mak me stay here, ningen," he called out. He tried leaping out the window but his back was still aching. As a result, his movements were slowed down by a fraction. That slight decrease was enough for Yusuke. Before the koorime could escape Yusuke had swiftly reached out and obtained his ankle. Poor Hiei. The velocity at which he was going adding in with Yusuke restraining him brought him down to the ground very harshly. The pain in his back was nothing compared to the pain he felt in his head. 

"...." said Hiei. 

"Oops," said the wide eyed Yusuke. He picked up the unconscious fire demon and laid him down on the couch.

"Oh man, oh man, oh man," was all Yusuke could say.

There was a figure looming over him. Who was it? What did it want? The light from above shielded the figure's visage. Where was he? 

"Are you sure you want it?" The voice was deep and horse. A man. 

"What?" Hiei breathed.

"Are you sure you want the Jagan? The fusion is irreversible. And the pain you will feel...is not like anything imaginable." His eyes widened in realization. This was-the man...it was the placement of the Jagan. 

"What's going on...?" asked the short demon, confusion now tainting every feature of his face. The figure departed Hiei's side, ascending the stairs and entering a room on the next floor. From the large glass window he watched Hiei and the large machine he laid under. The machine began to lower down two thin pieces of metal. They light with electricity. The small demon stared only at the intensifying light. His eyes widened. He slowly opened his mouth, crating a small gape between chin and nose. The images began to blur into colors. He opened his eyes and peered out, slowly taking in his surroundings. What he saw were two giant green orbs. He jumped. 

"Yusuke, I think Hiei is waking up," said a soft voice. The two orbs lighted up. Another pair of orbs, dark brown ones, appeared before as well. They glimmered. 

"Alright Kurama, you're potion really did the trick!" Hiei's eyes widened in horror. 

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!" he shrieked at Kurama. The yell itself was strong enough to blow the kitsune's hair back. Kurama blinked. Yusuke blinked. 

"H-Hiei," stammered Kurama, his eyes streaked with a bit of fear, "are you feeling any better?" Hiei was about to let out another frustrated howl when he suddenly noticed the pain was gone. He stared at Kurama in shock. "I take it you feel better. That is great news. I assume the herbs did their job well..." Yusuke blinked at Kurama. 

"Wait a minute Kurama, didn't you say there were side af-" A sudden hand to the mouth shut the rebellious teen up. Kurama gave a quick, menacing glance at Yusuke.(O.o Is that even _possible_??) Hiei's eyes shrunk to slits. A growl emanated from his throat. Kurama gulped. 

"Side effects? Do tell, little fox." 

"W-well, it really is of no concern, Hiei. It's nothing, nothing!!" He nodded his head vigorously as though that would assure him all the more of his statement. Hiei's rei energy began to grow. 

"If you value your life you will tell me what that side effect is-NOW. He lifted his hand in order to punch the sneaky kitsune. He blinked. Strange, his hand was not moving, rather, it stayed where it laid. He tried his other hand. No good. And his feet? Immobile. Wait, he couldn't move...it all made sense now. "Kurama," began Hiei, his voice as calm as possible, which made Kurama flinch, "The concoction, did you by chance add A PARALYSIS PLANT??" Kurama smiled nervously.

"How did you guess, Hiei? It required one, really. If not then you would have still been in terrible pain." 

"On the bright side you don't feel bad anymore, right?" probed Yusuke. Hiei only growled in reply. 

"Well, I guess my assisstance is no longer needed. I will be on my way now," said Kurama.

"Hold it right there, fox-boy! You ain't gonna leave me with Hiei like this!" 

"Why not? I'm sure you can take good care of him." 

"Yeah, but who's gonna take care of me once he feels better?!" Kurama chuckled.

"Don't worry Yusuke. I know Hiei and he will not do anything to harm you." 

"Care to wager on that?" asked a lower voice. Kurama sweat dropped. 

"Now Hiei, Yusuke _did _rescue you from your predicament outside..."

"What do you mean 'my predicament'?"

"You fell-"

"I did NOT fall out of the tree, Yusuke!" His rei energy increased once again.

"Well, I guess I should be off..." Kurama turned, making his way to the door. A great force pulled him back. 

"Oh no, you don't," said Yusuke as he pulled Kurama backwards. They fell to the floor with a thud. 

"Ow...Yusuke, I really need to get home!" The black haired teen only shook his head. 

"You're spending the night here with me and Hiei and don't you even think about leaving in the night cause I swear I'll find you!" Kurama gaped at his kidnapper. Yusuke stared at him. It seemed that there was an agreement made between the two. Kurama stood up and went to the phone. Yusuke could hear him speaking. 

"Yes mother, I know it is a bit late to ask. I know. Yes, yes. I love you too. Goodbye." He came back to the living room. "I called my mother. What now?" 

"I dunno...but I'm hungry. Pizza anyone?" 

"Well, I am somewhat hungry..." answered Kurama.

"Great. Hiei?" Silence. "Well, I'll take that as a yes. Kurama, wanna help with the drinks while I call the pizza place?" 

"Isn't it a bit early to pre-" Swoosh. Yusuke grabbed his friend's arm and shoved him to the kitchen. once out of Hiei's hearing distance Yusuke began to speak. 

"Kurama, listen...I don't know much about Hiei's past, but from what I can gather I know that he musta had a crappy childhood. The way he acts-it's like he hates everyone and he's so untrusting. I just want him to have a little fun, you know?" 

"I see...And that is why you wanted me to stay...you have a kind heart Yusuke." Kurama smiled.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't need to repeat that. Anyways, I'm gonna go call the pizza place. You can make the drinks or whatever. Hey, I should get Kuwabara over here. It'll be more fun that way." 

"Is that a good idea? You know how Hiei is with Kuwabara and how Kuwabara can get." 

"Eh, what's the worts that can happen?" And he left for the phone. Kurama meanwhile raided the fridge for any beverages. He found two cokes and a bunch of silver cans labeled 'Soda'. He poured out the silver containers into four cups. Yusuke was finishing up the phone call. He hung up and dialed Kuwabara's phone number. The arrangements were made. Yusuke's mini party would soon commence. And what of Hiei? He was still laying on the couch, his annoyance growing as the nanoseconds passed. Yusuke strolled over to the couch and smirked at the koorime. 

"What?" snapped Hiei. Yusuke's grin formed into a smile.

"Nothin'. Nothin' at all." 

____________________________

The end of chapter one. Kinda pointless, I know. I just wanted to write a serious fic for sooo long. Hm...I think the fic will center around Hiei and his relationship towards Yusuke, Kurama, and Kuwabara. Glah...I think I'm going braindead....*blinks* ...oh yeah, so review and tell me what you think. If you guys have any ideas as to what should happen then send em in cause I need help. Writers block is theeeee deviiiiiiiiiiiiiil. *gloom* make it stop. now!!! 


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